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Townie and the Troll [cont.]

"I’m going over to the porn shop today…yea I’m getting a vibrator, kind of…it’s like 75x times the power of a regular vibrator. And if you watch the kind of porn I watch they all use it. Basically it can make you cum in like two minutes" -Troll

"I’ve got a strap-on" -Troll

Continuation of conversations by my townie and his wife [read: troll]

"What’s that song again it goes like ass ass ass ass." - townie

"I was gonna wear this but then I got my period" -troll

"Haha" - random person they’re having a threesome with

"I can fuck you, I can do anything I want to you" -troll

"She’s embarrassed cause one is bigger than the other….she’s not even" -troll

(Top 40 plays in the background)

A brief overview of conversations I’ve overheard between my 30-something townie roommate and his wife

1) a conversation about how talented the strippers they just saw were

2) explicit conversation during a threesome with a random woman they met on the internet

3) conversations about their children

4) a conversation about how big of a sex drive the wife has

5) a conversation about her “sexy belt” [lol WHUT]

6) a conversation trying to convince my roommates to go to the strip club with them

7) a conversation about her stripper cousin

Sometimes you just need to feel the rain on your skin.

Sometimes I feel nostalgic

My license says I’m 22 today
So why do I still feel like I’m 16?

March is the best month

Brb running away to the ocean.


American Dream

sometimes I think I made the wrong decision about going to college.

should’ve moved to Europe¬†

become a bartender

and hang out at the beach 

and travel.